If you ever doubt...

NottyImp · 11th Jun 2003, 10:46

... your ability to write, go and pick up some genre nonsense from a bookshop and be re-assured. I think I've mentioned elsehwhere I'm reading a light-weight historical mystery novel set in Rome - called "The Silver Pigs" - by Lindsey Davies, and it really is atrocious. It might be a first novel, but even so...

I might post up some of the dialogue for your edification later.

Colyngbourne · 11th Jun 2003, 11:08

Hasn't Davies written a whole series of these 'detective' novels in ancient Rome? I'm not going anywhere near them. My own most cringe-making genre book is 'Prospero's Children' by Jan Siegel (and hell on a stick, she's written a trilogy of it

) This fatuous snippet made me throw the book on the floor

Quote:

belatedly she began to appreciate how much she had always relied on her father, not perhaps on his strength but on the strength of his position, on the certainties that accompany fatherhood and maturity.

It's derivative fantasy drivel - a stomach-turning ripped-off blend of The Railway Children (I'm not kidding), Narnia's The Last Battle, LotR, Silverhawke, Alan Garner and stock fantasy memes. For one, I've never noticed any 'certainties' that accompany fatherhood and maturity.

NottyImp · 11th Jun 2003, 11:42

Quote:

Hasn't Davies written a whole series of these 'detective' novels in ancient Rome?

She has, 14(!) of them to date. I picked up the first one as I'm a fan of well-crafted historical fiction (Patrick O'brian, for example), and am approaching the end of Stephen Saylor's series of Roman novels, which I really like. She's clearly proud of the fact that she has an Eng. Lit. degree, but some of the writing is frankly sub-GCSE standard. I won't be reading any more... and I've put a suitably cutting review on Amazon. The dreadful thing still rates 4 stars, though.

Quote:

For one, I've never noticed any 'certainties' that accompany fatherhood and maturity.

I wonder how old the central character is - if she's anything like my teenaged step-daughter, her certainties would far out-strip mine :wink:

Colyngbourne · 11th Jun 2003, 12:15

Shes meant to be just over sixteen in the first book, I think - called Fern(anda)

(trying not to be ill at the mention of all this)
It's meant to be set in the present day but she is described as 'not being a typical 16 yr old' (why not, for hell’s sake!) – all intelligent and knowing and ready to pass from a child’s world into the adult world – like a chrysalis … (quoting vomitous bits from the book there, you can tell). She reads like a swottish teenager from the late seventies/early eighties (I know, I was there) and the whole book is riven with cliches: a housekeeper type from the Yorkshire village down the road who comes and makes tea and biscuits; a well-meaning vicar who believes there are more things in heaven and earth... and has the time to spend an afternoon with Fern on the N.York Moors (innocently of course because this vicar clearly hasn't heard of Diocesan Safety Guidelines). Oh it is too terrible to contemplate. There's even a Dobby-U-Like house-elf creature.

What are your Lindsey Davies awful quotes? ( I always thought it was a man...)

NottyImp · 11th Jun 2003, 12:42

Quote:

What are your Lindsey Davies awful quotes? ( I always thought it was a man...)

Do you know, it could be a man, that never occured to me. Would it be "Lindsey" = male, "Lindsay" = female? Now I'll have to go and check...

Just checked - definitely female.

Can't quote from the book at the moment as I'm at work and the book isn't.

Colyngbourne · 11th Jun 2003, 12:51

Crikey, just checked out her website and the BBC are planning a series of Falco at some point. It'll be just as terrible as that Cadfael series a while back. Which reminds me of a second genre horror I read this year, 'Death in Holy Order' by PD James (and the BBC are showing that this autumn, I think) - what a crock of cliche and useless plot was that! One of the few books I would willingly trash.

gil · 11th Jun 2003, 15:36

I'm not above reading genre books. I read a very great deal of science fiction, spy novels and detective novels. There's good and there's bad, as you'd expect.

Lindsey Davies' Falco books are a cut above the Cadfael ones IMHO. I've read a few of each, because I have a friend who's keen on them. The hero, Falco, is suitably disreputable, at any rate. But quite a few in the Falco series are very lame indeed, I agree, while all the Cadfael ones give me a pain.

Speaking of such books, I picked up a book called The Athenian Murders by José Carlos Somoza. As experimental as a leather bicycle. Too clever by half. Too boring by one and a half. Actually, the author had a good idea. Tell one story, about Ancient Greece, in the main text, and another, related to a modern translator, in the footnotes. If either of the stories had been up to standard, it might even have worked. The atmosphere was poor, the scene-setting straight from the cardboard cut-out department. I was disappointed, and, despite the air of erudition the jacket attempted to imply, I found it very shallow indeed.

The queen of all these formulaic books is Sue Grafton, who writes about a female Californian Private Eye. She names them alphabetically - A is for Alibi; B is for Burglary; C is for Carjacking... or whatever. She's currently working on Q is for something or other. But it's like a soap opera. Once you start to read them, you get hooked. Publishers LOVE them, of course.

Doing these things on tv is the kiss of death, though. Remember Hornblower? And they're threatening to make a movie of O'Brian's Master and Commander. Groan...

amner · 11th Jun 2003, 16:11

I'm afraid that they are making the O'Brian movie, gil. In fact, I believe it's all but finished.

You and Notty will no doubt be delighted to know that Russell Crowe will be playing Jack Aubrey.

Nice quote I found:

Quote:

"Fans of author Patrick O'Brien are fuming at the news Hollywood is to change history for the purposes of movie-making in new film The Far Side of the World. In the Napoleonic-era book, Cpt. Jack Aubrey sets sail to stop an American frigate that is trying to sink as many British ships as it can. However, in the movie adaptation, the enemy frigate turns out to be French ...

.

Colyngbourne · 11th Jun 2003, 16:17

Yes, I've spotted pics of him looking rugged on a boat

Never read the 'proper' story though.

NottyImp · 11th Jun 2003, 18:03

Quote:

You and Notty will no doubt be delighted to know that Russell Crowe will be playing Jack Aubrey.

Oh god help us all.

Quote:

"Fans of author Patrick O'Brien are fuming at the news Hollywood is to change history"

Hollywood changing history? Well I never! (You will never, ever, never find me watching U-571 under any circumstances whatsoever. Ever)

Actually, I'd be hard pressed to name an actor for Aubrey (Maturin would be much easier - Alan Rickman with a firm directorial hand would do). What do you reckon, Gil?

And Gil, if you like genre novels, try Saylor's "Sub Rosa" series. Very good IMO.

11th Jun 2003, 10:46	#1
NottyImp the aging anarchist could do better Join Date: 16 May 2003 Location: Afloat, also! Posts: 1,829	If you ever doubt... ... your ability to write, go and pick up some genre nonsense from a bookshop and be re-assured. I think I've mentioned elsehwhere I'm reading a light-weight historical mystery novel set in Rome - called "The Silver Pigs" - by Lindsey Davies, and it really is atrocious. It might be a first novel, but even so... I might post up some of the dialogue for your edification later. __________________ *Currently reading: The Way to Bright Star: Dee Brown.*

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11th Jun 2003, 12:15	#4
Colyngbourne Administrator is no longer welcome round here Join Date: 30 Apr 2003 Location: England Posts: 9,706	Shes meant to be just over sixteen in the first book, I think - called Fern(anda) (trying not to be ill at the mention of all this) It's meant to be set in the present day but she is described as 'not being a typical 16 yr old' (why not, for hell’s sake!) – all intelligent and knowing and ready to pass from a child’s world into the adult world – like a chrysalis … (quoting vomitous bits from the book there, you can tell). She reads like a swottish teenager from the late seventies/early eighties (I know, I was there) and the whole book is riven with cliches: a housekeeper type from the Yorkshire village down the road who comes and makes tea and biscuits; a well-meaning vicar who believes there are more things in heaven and earth... and has the time to spend an afternoon with Fern on the N.York Moors (innocently of course because this vicar clearly hasn't heard of Diocesan Safety Guidelines). Oh it is too terrible to contemplate. There's even a Dobby-U-Like house-elf creature. What are your Lindsey Davies awful quotes? ( I always thought it was a man...)

11th Jun 2003, 12:51	#6
Colyngbourne Administrator is no longer welcome round here Join Date: 30 Apr 2003 Location: England Posts: 9,706	Crikey, just checked out her website and the BBC are planning a series of Falco at some point. It'll be just as terrible as that Cadfael series a while back. Which reminds me of a second genre horror I read this year, 'Death in Holy Order' by PD James (and the BBC are showing that this autumn, I think) - what a crock of cliche and useless plot was that! One of the few books I would willingly trash.

11th Jun 2003, 15:36	#7
gil Senior Palimpsester suckles at the teat of the Palim-God Join Date: 21 May 2003 Location: Farnham, UK Posts: 2,901	I'm not above reading genre books. I read a very great deal of science fiction, spy novels and detective novels. There's good and there's bad, as you'd expect. Lindsey Davies' Falco books are a cut above the Cadfael ones IMHO. I've read a few of each, because I have a friend who's keen on them. The hero, Falco, is suitably disreputable, at any rate. But quite a few in the Falco series are very lame indeed, I agree, while all the Cadfael ones give me a pain. Speaking of such books, I picked up a book called The Athenian Murders by José Carlos Somoza. As experimental as a leather bicycle. Too clever by half. Too boring by one and a half. Actually, the author had a good idea. Tell one story, about Ancient Greece, in the main text, and another, related to a modern translator, in the footnotes. If either of the stories had been up to standard, it might even have worked. The atmosphere was poor, the scene-setting straight from the cardboard cut-out department. I was disappointed, and, despite the air of erudition the jacket attempted to imply, I found it very shallow indeed. The queen of all these formulaic books is Sue Grafton, who writes about a female Californian Private Eye. She names them alphabetically - A is for Alibi; B is for Burglary; C is for Carjacking... or whatever. She's currently working on Q is for something or other. But it's like a soap opera. Once you start to read them, you get hooked. Publishers LOVE them, of course. Doing these things on tv is the kiss of death, though. Remember Hornblower? And they're threatening to make a movie of O'Brian's Master and Commander. Groan...

11th Jun 2003, 16:17	#9
Colyngbourne Administrator is no longer welcome round here Join Date: 30 Apr 2003 Location: England Posts: 9,706	Yes, I've spotted pics of him looking rugged on a boat Never read the 'proper' story though.

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