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Old 5th Apr 2005, 13:36   #1
bakunin_the_cat
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Default Sign o' the Times

A friend of mine sent me this. Just had to share it with you guys.

> IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please
> remove all your
> clothes when the light goes out.
>
> IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement
> Upstairs
>
> IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step
> ladder yesterday please
> bring it back or further steps will be taken.
>
> IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should
> empty the
> teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
>
> OUTSIDE A FARM: Horse manure -50 pence per
> pre-packed bag; 20 pence
> do-it-yourself.
>
> ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter
> ye all by this
> door. (This door is kept locked because of the
> draft. Please use side
> entrance)
>
> ENGLISH SIGN IN A GERMAN CAFE: Mothers, Please Wash
> Your Hans Before
> Eating.
>
> OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything -
> bicycles, washing
> machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get
> a wonderful bargain.
>
>
> OUTSIDE A NEW TOWN HALL WHICH WAS TO BE OPENED BY
> THE PRINCE OF WALES:
> The Town Hall is closed until opening. It will
> remain closed after
> being opened. Open tomorrow.
>
> OUTSIDE A PHOTOGRAPHER'S STUDIO: Out to lunch. If
> not back by five, out
> for dinner also.
>
> SEEN AT THE SIDE OF A SUSSEX ROAD: Slow cattle
> crossing. No
> overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
>
> OUTSIDE A DISCO: Smarts is the most exclusive disco
> in town.
> Everyone welcome.
>
> QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing
> this point will be
> drowned. By order of the District Council.
>
> NOTICE SENT TO RESIDENTS OF A WILTSHIRE PARISH: Due
> to increasing
> problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask
> anyone with relatives
> buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep
> them in order.
>
> NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving
> their garments here for
> more than 30 days will be disposed of.
>
> ON A MOTORWAY GARAGE: Please do not smoke near our
> petrol pumps. Your
> life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
>
> IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
>
>
> SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In
> Your Car
>
> SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has
> children and doesn't know
> it, there is a day care on the first floor.
>
> NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to
> cross the field
> for free, but the bull charges.
>
> MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this
> leaflet will tell
> you how to get lessons.
>
> ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything
> (Please knock hard on the
> door - the bell doesn't work)
>
> SIGN AT A NORFOLK FARM GATE: Beware! I shoot every
> tenth
> trespasser and the ninth one has just left!
>
> SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet
> out of order.
> Please use floor below.
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Old 5th Apr 2005, 13:39   #2
Digger
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Tee Hee hee!

I love these....
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Old 6th Apr 2005, 1:28   #3
idioteque
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Default My favourite

And a true one.

The vending machine at work wasn't working. Someone put up a notice saying 'Out Of Order'.

After a day, someone then inserted the word 'Bang' at the beginning.

Made me laugh.
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Old 6th Apr 2005, 10:06   #4
youjustmightlikeit
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lmao - i like that, i might steal it.
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Old 22nd Nov 2008, 16:12   #5
gil
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Default Re: Sign o' the Times

Reviving this old thread to give you the worst possible advert for a sweater:

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Old 22nd Nov 2008, 17:05   #6
vald
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Default Re: Sign o' the Times

How tasteless.
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