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Old 8th Mar 2007, 16:32   #11
ono no komachi
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

My list (for today, anyway):

1. Clash of the Titans
Harry the Hamster pouting his way through a Harryhausen-fest of gorgons, flying horses and comedy metal owls that sound suspiciously like R2D2. Plus it has Laurence Olivier and Maggie Smith in it!

2. Flash Gordon (1980) "Gordon's alive?!?!?!?!?"

3. Predator I knew Governor Schwarzenegger had been in at least one good film... and that film was The Terminator.

4. The Man in the Iron Mask (1998) Overproduced, overegged, overacted.... but how can you not love that cast list?

5. Dirty Dancing Nobody puts Swayze in the corner. All together now: "I-I... haaad...the time of my li-i-ife..."

6. Uncle Buck Macauley Culkin actually amusing? Shurely shome mishtake...

7. Young Guns Brat pack western. What's not to like?

8. Shattered Tom Berenger - the epitome of the B-list actor - in possibly one of the most ridiculous amnesia thrillers ever. No Memento, this.

9. Teen Wolf Michael J Fox sprouts hairs on his palms, grows seventies-style sideburns and becomes a basketball genius.

10. Born Yesterday (1993) Don Johnson plays a sympathetic, sensitive intellectual. No, really.

Last edited by ono no komachi; 8th Mar 2007 at 16:56.
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Old 8th Mar 2007, 16:37   #12
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

I can only think of a few, to be honest. All the other ones really are genuinely good:

The Blob (yes, the 1950s Steve McQueen one)
...If only for the theme music.

Krull

Big-sworded skimpy-armoured fire-mare lunacy. Wonderful stuff.

Mallrats
Well noted, Nou. Worth it just for Jay and the kittens at the start.
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Old 8th Mar 2007, 16:40   #13
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

Ooh, ono, I love your 1, 2, 4 and 5 as well. A definite old video-fest the day I ever visit your house!
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Old 8th Mar 2007, 16:41   #14
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

Quote:
Originally Posted by ono no komachi View Post
9. I was a Teenage Werewolf Michael J Fox sprouts hairs on his palms, grows seventies-style sideburns and becomes a basketball genius.
It's a horribly great one, true, but I think you're thinking of Teen Wolf. I Was A Teenage Werewolf starred... oh god... Michael Landon.

Yes, it frightens me that I know these things.
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Old 8th Mar 2007, 16:54   #15
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

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Originally Posted by beer good View Post
It's a horribly great one, true, but I think you're thinking of Teen Wolf. I Was A Teenage Werewolf starred... oh god... Michael Landon.

Yes, it frightens me that I know these things.
Oh crikey, of course it was Teen Wolf! Sorry, I will amend my original but let this one stand so that your post doesn't suddenly stop making sense.
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Old 8th Mar 2007, 20:38   #16
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

Egads - how could I omit Dead Again? And Krull? And Flash Gordon, surely the all time winner?

Predator though - what's up with you ono, that's fantastic!
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Old 8th Mar 2007, 20:52   #17
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

Quote:
So, what are yours?
Of all time or just recent. My god, if there was a thread made for me this is it.

I love bad movies. I really do. Most bad movies seem to be in the horror genre or science fiction, there seem to be something about those two fields that attracts incompetents with delusions of adequacy. Many of the films in this list make the famous Plan 9 from Outer Space look like coherent movie-making.

Top ten recent bad films in no particular order of awfulness:
  1. Invasion from Inner Earth - a bunch of people try to survive the worst script of the 70s as off-screen Martians from the earth's core destroy humanity by letting off a few smoke grenades and shining a red light under tables before ending with one of those post 2001 What-the-fuck? 'mystical' endings that were so popular with no-clue movie makers of the period.
  2. UFO: Target Earth - Low Low rent Close Encounters bandwagon jumpee of a movie that made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. None. Before ending in another of those post 2001 What-the-fuck? 'mystical' blah blah blah...
  3. Blood Tide - A movie that reached the sublime acme of weirdness by having James Earl Jones deliver Shakespeare in an underwater cave - through a snorkel.
  4. End of the World - a movie consisting of 90% establishing shots, 5% stock footage, and Christopher Lee as the leader of a bunch of alien nuns who destroy the world.
  5. The Snow Creature - Proving that a particular talent does not necessarily run in families, this 'monster on the loose' movie was 'directed' by Billy Wilder's brother and probably holds some sort of record for the endless re-use of one individual shot within a movie.
  6. Moon 44 - a testosterone driven pile of pseudo homo-erotic horse cookies masquerading as an SF movie. Blessed only by virtuoso performances of the off screen grips in charge of the smoke machines.
  7. The Galaxy Invader - I would rather eat other people's earwax than watch this again.
  8. Revelation - Fundamentalist Christian Science Fiction Horror movie... I'll stop there.
  9. Mesa of Lost Women - A work of staggeringly wonderful incompetence about mad scientists, giant spiders, artificial women, and dreadful acting blessed by one of the most annoying scores ever recorded.
The winner though (I lied about them not being in order) for me is:
Invasion Earth: The Aliens are Here - Pure unmitigated, grade Z, unadulterated, high-fibre, low octane, total shit. Made up for the most part from clips of other grade Z, unadulterated, high-fibre, total shit movies edited together for some reason not made clear, by aliens trying to take over a cinema.

Any of these make Krull look like Citizen Kane


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Old 8th Mar 2007, 22:24   #18
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

Mmm, Flash Gordon. Actually I've seen it once only, but listened to the soundtrack many times.

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"...we can offer you nothing except our loyalty"
"And how big your loyalty is?"
"Without measure."
"Fall on your sword!"

(Commotion)

"DEATH TO MING!!"
It's probably not word by word, but I'm sure it's very close.

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"What do you mean, Flash Gorrrdon aprrroaching?"
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Old 8th Mar 2007, 23:41   #19
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

"I choose death," proudly states Blue Peter's Peter Duncan* before getting skewered by Timothy Dalton for doing a crap job of sticking his arm into a tree-stump with a poisonous lobster hiding in it. (Ahhh, I love Sigh-Fi...)

*Recently appointed Britain's Chief Scout - no, not for the national team, I mean Cub Scout.
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Old 9th Mar 2007, 0:40   #20
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Default Re: Top Ten Favourite Bad Movies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noumenon View Post
"I choose death," proudly states Blue Peter's Peter Duncan* before getting skewered by Timothy Dalton for doing a crap job of sticking his arm into a tree-stump with a poisonous lobster hiding in it.
But that's utterly terrifying when you're little and watching Flash Gordon (the tree-stump, I mean, not Dalton or even Duncan) - I don't know a child who hasn't been impressed by that bit. (Or worried that Topol *really* loses his memories in the Merciless Memory Extractor)
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