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Old 20th Nov 2006, 17:16   #151
ono no komachi
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Not long after the Cold War began, it so happened that a socialist Welshman - John Jones by name - was in London. He happened to be sitting in a park one day when a man in a trench coat came and sat beside him.
- Voud you be interested in spying on ze Briddish? asked the stranger in a thick Russian accent.
- "Sure I would, boyo", said John Jones cheerfully. "For we Welsh have been oppressed for years. I'm on your side!"
- Very well... Ze password vill be, "Ze geese fly high over ze frozen pond while ze sun shines." Got that?
- "Right you are", says John. '"Ze geese fly high over ze frozen pond while ze sun shines. What do I have to do now?"
- Nuzzing for ze moment... Ve vill activate you ven ve haf need of you. It may be a year, it may be 10 years, but ve vill. Vill you be ready? You vill remember ze password?
- "I will", said John eagerly, and returned to his small home village in Wales.
Although John waited eagerly, the call never came.
Ten years, twenty, thirty ... until 1999, when a command came from the Russian HQ to activate agent John Jones immediately. A Russian agent headed for the little village where John Jones lived, only to find there were 300 John Joneses listed for the area. He scratched his head and decided that he would go to the local pub and try the password until he found his man.
So, the Russian agent headed off to the local pub and ordered a pint of beer. He saw a man standing alone at one end of the counter, and thought he might as well begin. He sidled across to the solitary drinker, watching the crowd about him with cautious eyes.
- Nice evening, said the Russian.
- "Yes", said the drinker.
- Is your name Jones? asked the Russian.
- "Yes", said the drinker.
- Funny, isn't it, said the Russian agent, the geese fly high over the wintry pond while the sun shines.
The drinker tossed back his beer and said:
- "It's not me you'll be wanting. You want Jones the spy, over by the window".
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Old 20th Nov 2006, 19:27   #152
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The joke Gil linked to is genuinely funny in my opinion, rather than just being about stupid people with the names Paddy and Murphy thrown in to nationalise it - although, I suppose that is what that joke is too, technically.

Welsh jokes, though. Never even thought of that. Someone tell me a blonde joke, I can get them.
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Old 20th Nov 2006, 19:33   #153
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No more blonde jokes for you Nou! But here's an international one:

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Italian are in a pub, bragging about their sex lives.

The Frenchman says "Last night, I made lurve to my wife, four times, and zis morning she say to me, Pierre, you are ze best lovair in ze world."

The Italian says "That's-a nothing. Last-a night, I made love to my wife five-a times and this morning she say to me, Luigi, you are the best lover in the world."

The Englishman says "Last night, I made luv to ma wife once."

"And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Get off me now for Christ's sake."
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Old 20th Nov 2006, 21:16   #154
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This is the Welshest joke I know.

Dai had been shipwrecked and lived alone on a remote desert island for years. When he was eventually found he took his rescuers on a tour of the island. He walked them to the top of a the only hill and pointed out the various improvements he had made over the years:
"Here's my farm." he said pointing out over the well cultivated valley,"That's where I keep my goats, and that's my water mill where I grind my corn. And that over there..." he added proudly, pointing at an impressive two story building, "That is my Chapel."
"What's that over there?" asked the Captain of the ship indicating another large building on the hillside.
"Oh that!" sniffed Dai. "That's the chapel I don't go to."
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Old 20th Nov 2006, 23:02   #155
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A English, stuck up female busybody overhears two dirty, filthy, hand-out-job-and-women-stealing foreigners talking on a bus.

"...we had a great time. First Emma come, then I come. Then two asses, they come together. I come, two more asses come, then I come again, then pee, then I come one more time. I recomend it."

The woman girds her loins and screams, "You disgusting animals make me sick, you should get out of our beautiful country and drown in the sea so you don't ruin anyone else's home either, you woman-abusing scum."

To which the well groomed and erudite speaker turns and replies, "You need a holiday. Mississipi is lovely this time of year."
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Old 21st Nov 2006, 11:10   #156
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JunkMonkey
This is the Welshest joke I know
I heard the same joke years ago as a Jewish joke, with the punchline "... and THAT synagogue I wouldn't cross the threshhold if you PAID me!"
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