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Old 9th Mar 2006, 20:30   #1
John Self
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Join Date: 27 Jun 2003
Location: Belfast
Posts: 15,939
Default Life Imitates Onion

A place for all those news stories which seem as though they might actually be April Fools, or at least cuttings from The Onion or similar satirical news-sites. Like, remember when some fat bastards tried to sue McDonald's for selling fattening foods just two years after The Onion did a story about confectioners having to pay compensation to obese Americans?

Today's is Gillette's launch of Fusion, a five-bladed razor, again just two years after The Onion thought they had ruled out the possibility with this piece. Sadly, they were just providing inspiration for an industry which knows no irony or self-awareness. In fact, the Fusion is a six-bladed razor, with an extra one on top - I am not making this up - for 'problem areas' like under the nose. So they're acknowledging that one blade is often better than two (Sensor), three (Mach 3 and all its little wizards) or four (sit down and shut up, the Wilkinson Quattro), not to mention five? Well pass me the Bic disposables then, at 99p for ten. I can't wait to see what cartridges for the Fusion cost, given that I already consider Mach 3 blades (£3.69 for four if you know where to shop, £4.95 if you don't) to be ludicrously expensive, never mind Mach 3 Turbo (about £6 for four) or Mach 3 Turbo battery-pack-vibro-wand thing (about £7.50 for four effing cartridges which will only last you a few weeks).

Other submissions welcome. The industry-standard two-year Onion-to-real-life delay need not apply.
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