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Old 19th Oct 2004, 15:32   #17
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Join Date: 10 Apr 2003
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 10,918

Corcrain girl forgets to swear

13-year-old Corcrain resident Tanya Slapper remains in social limbo today after accidentally having an entire conversation without saying "fuck".

The incident occurred yesterday outside West End Video, while the youngster was discussing an article in popular teen mag "Just 17 Stone" with schoolfriends Jemma Frump (12), Kylie McFatt (14) and Leslie Minger (11). "We were looking at 'Position of the Fortnight'," explained Ms Frump to our reporter, "and Tanya goes 'I don't think I'd go for that, it's better if you can see his face when he comes'. Then she goes 'Anyway you don't have to do it every fortnight. My ma says that's just for tarts.'"

Stunned by this lack of profanity, Tanya's friends openly questioned her state of mind. "I goes, 'Who the fuck do you fucking think you are, you fucking stuck up fucking cow," explained Ms McFatt. "Think you're too fucking good for us, do you? Fuck you."
...which reminds me (inna Vicky Pollard stylee) that the brand new series of Little Britain is on BBC3 tonight.

This week: John is alarmed to learn that Japan has invaded Russia, Connor voices support for Theodore Roosevelt in the US Presidential Election, Fionnuala welcomes the invention of the electrifying diode, and Marie celebrates the birth of famous novelist Graham Greene, starting a causality paradox that threatens to unravel the fabric of space-time.
I laughed out loud at that one, very good.
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