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amner 9th Mar 2006 12:06

The Apprentice
I eschew all that Reality TV nonsense, but The Apprentice has its hooks in me completely. Why is that?

Fabulous episode last night, but boy did Sir Alan make the wrong decision.

Wavid 9th Mar 2006 12:18

Re: The Apprentice
Yes, he is only keeping that silly bint Jo because she makes for great car crash telly.

ono no komachi 9th Mar 2006 12:21

Re: The Apprentice
I thought it was because:


Originally Posted by Sir Alan Sugar
She's a bloody nutter! But then, so am I!

Cut to Sir Alan looking demented.

amner 9th Mar 2006 12:22

Re: The Apprentice
Whether or not it's good telly isn't his agenda though, I don't think, is it? I might be being naive, but he will be employing one of these people and at the moment he's impressed by her 'spirit'. Pshawh!

I like Ruth the Rottweiler.

Wavid 9th Mar 2006 12:29

Re: The Apprentice
No, he'll keep her in till the end, then give the job to someone boring. Also, it's only a fixed one year contract, isn't it? So he can easily chuck them out when people have stopped caring.

I quite like the sarky fat bloke from Leeds.

amner 9th Mar 2006 12:30

Re: The Apprentice
Is that the one who pretended to be getting married? Yeah, he's OK, but there's not a real 'sparky' one among the boys is there (and I don't count Sayed as sparky)?

Is it going on contemporaneously, or have they chosen someone already? It all looks like the Summer to me.

ono no komachi 9th Mar 2006 12:31

Re: The Apprentice
It seems less like a car crash if you also submit yourself to the torture that is The Armstrongs immediately afterwards.

Anne, on the subject of the Christmas party:


We could fly them somewhere exotic. Like Bournemouth, or Poole, or Blackpool. Or Naples.
Last night they literally adopted a mangy cur. Instead of taking it to a vet, they decided it needed a shampoo and set from a canine stylist.


There's one there called Doggy Style.
Did no-one but me notice that the kennel made from conservatory offcuts had a bloody great hole in the roof?

I'm 100% convinced that it can't be for real, and will be revealed at the end of the series to have been scripted by Stephen Merchant and Chris Morris.

ono no komachi 9th Mar 2006 12:33

Re: The Apprentice
They should have kept the public schoolboy who survived cancer. He constantly looked like he was about to cry, so would have been a good counterpoint to Jo.

amner 9th Mar 2006 12:41

Re: The Apprentice
Well, indeed. His best contribution was the almost imperceptible smirk when Sayed suggested the name 'The A Team', that was great telly.

Predictions? I'll go for Ruth.

John Self 9th Mar 2006 14:04

Re: The Apprentice
Agree with amner, I avoid all reality TV - and the first series of The Apprentice - but this is now essential Wednesday night viewing. It's just terrific! The point, though, is that you can't actually like any of them as they're all twats of the highest order - in the first episode, one of them actually said "we all work hard and play hard." Last night I was delighted that Sayed and Jo were the project managers, as that meant one of them had to go, and they're each the worst of their sex by a long margin. Having said that, those same qualities - or lack thereof - also make them the most compulsively watchable, Sayed with his satirical wide-boy Gordon Gecko "I want to call our group The A-Team" persona, and Jo with her Victoria-Wood-in-a-poodle-perm thing going on. In fact I am convinced that Jo is Victoria Wood put in as a mole to keep things entertaining.

Sir Alan is great too - total charisma bypass but pretty much everything he says is right. I'm glad mimsy Karen went last night: she's always looked as if the rod up her arse has a rod up its arse. The only downfall is that one of these terrible, terrible human beings has to win. (And do we really, by the way, believe that they've all given up their jobs - some run their own companies - for the sake of a year and a hundred grand with old grizzle-chops?)

Ono is right about The Armstrongs, who are indeed real. They were first seen as a one-off documentary a year or two ago, and may even have been mentioned here, which was about the Christmas do one year, and basically how badly they treat their staff. I know it's hard to believe, what with Anne's 70s hairdo and er, the bloke's gnome-like face, and their exploits like travelling to France to sell conservatories and using Google to translate their sales pitch, but as a receptionist pointed out when someone from the Guardian rang them last week, "We get a lot of calls like this, and unfortunately it is real." My bugbear is that BBC Frigging Northern Ireland have moved it halfway through the run to stick on some local sports programme.

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