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rick green
28th Jul 2005, 21:33
In youth, I idolized Hakeem the Dream
Olajuwon, Nigeria’s favorite son
(Or so I guessed). He grew up a handball
Player in steamy Lagos. The city park
Resounded with his puissant smashes, banked
Off walls. He ruled as if a king at court

(Or so the legend runs). A scout, to court
This gentle giant, speaks about undreamed-
Of wealth. To a youth without his own bank
Account it seems a joke. He’s a good son
Though, and signs the papers, then bids the park,
Family & friends, and also handball

(It had no future) farewell. Basketball
Will be his world: a cosmos & a court
Of unfamiliar laws. But Houston’s parks
Are like the one he visits in his dreams:
Concrete cracked, run-down & shabby. The sun
Still rises in the East. And the brown banks

Of Buffalo Bayou—the only banks
In the Bayou City untouched by (wrecking ball,
Strike them down!) engineers—remind the son
Of Niger’s flood that home, Houston of court
And hoop or steamy Lagos, is a dream.
Our real home’s across the river, a park

Of light & love eternal. Oh! mystic park
My home, how I long to return where bank-
Shots never miss and all can dunk—what dreams
I’ve had of celestial basketball!
But I digress. Let’s leave that golden court
And its saintly players for now. The sun

Has light enough for Hakeem & me—sons
Of the same God. Once, at a water-park,
I saw him, so much bigger off the court
Than on—he scarcely fit the slides; their banked
Turns must have offered little thrill. My ball
Was in the car. I imagined the Dream

Signing it for my son. Then to the bank—
Not the park—we’d go deposit that ball.
Better not court disaster with that dream.

John Self
28th Jul 2005, 21:50
Extraordinary, rick! Pardon my iggerance: sestina, that's like a well-established (to everyone but me) poetic form, I presume? Are the recurrent motifs a requirement of it, or just your little garnish?

rick green
28th Jul 2005, 22:38
Thanks John. I'm a little surprised that you seem to have missed the sestina page (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/sestinas/) at McSeeney's. That's where I got the idea from. We'll see if they accept my submission or not. I fear the fourth staza is somewhat dodgy. The repetition of six words in a certain pattern is the salient feature of the form.

HP
28th Jul 2005, 22:41
Was just about to turn the compoot off and hit the silkies when I found this. rick, I am lost for words - suffering saints - what a talent! Ooh, have cometh over all of a faintly ...... (kerplop!)

John Self
28th Jul 2005, 22:41
Ah yes, McSweeney's. Although I subscribe to the quarterly magazine (the latest issue is in an extraordinary fold-out hardback format which I will post pics of when I can: includes a free comb and a beating-B.S.-Johnson-at-his-own-game short story made up of thirteen individual playing cards which can be read in any order...), I must admit that I haven't actually read a single issue and nor do I visit the website with any regularity. Yours is great though rick: indeed, I can unequivocally say it's the best sestina I've ever seen! :wink:

rick green
28th Jul 2005, 22:46
I can unequivocally say it's the best sestina I've ever seen! :wink:

Better not go to the MsSweeney's page in that case! And, Honey, as always you're too kind.

ishmael
21st Aug 2005, 12:30
Wow that's fantastic! Sestinas are really difficult to do - have never been able to crack one myself - but you have really pulled it off. It's very ironic that this particular form, which has often been seen as a test of poetic ability and genius, is used to describe something very down-to-earth, hardly the traditional stuff of romanticised poetry. I especially love the way the final line comments back on the poem (both form and subject) with the pun on "court." The only bit that felt slightly false was the enjambment of "undreamed-/of wealth" in the second stanza.

PS My personal favourite sestina is Elizabeth Bishop's (titled "Sestina") - what's yours?

kumquat
21st Aug 2005, 14:18
Yes, I liked this too. Good work.

rick green
21st Aug 2005, 23:51
Thanks ishmael & kumquat. Very nice of you both. I'm not worthy. As for a favorite, I'm afraid I haven't read enough to say with any confidence. Is this (http://www.sccs.swarthmore.edu/users/03/ahead/sestina.html)the one by Bishop that you mean? I particualrly liked the sixth stanza:
But secretly, while the grandmother
busies herself about the stove,
the little moons fall down like tears
from between the pages of the almanac
into the flower bed the child
has carefully placed in the front of the house.
Beautiful.

Digger
19th Sep 2005, 15:28
Have you written any more sestinas Rick? I loved your one here.

rick green
21st Sep 2005, 19:26
Nah, nothing new. Glad you liked it. As usual, it seems shabbier to me with the passing of time.

Digger
11th Oct 2005, 20:19
Yeah, that may be, but you must accept that to little non-poet here, it's still beautiful.