A sonnet

[kumquat]

What proteus woman is dreamt of in your head,
Angelic devil or a virtuous whore
Some changeling form that moves from sink to bed
And upstairs leaves her knickers at the door?
Perhaps a constant virgin you’d prefer,
Forever faithful yet with passion wild,
Holding in thrall the hope of you and her
Anticipation keen and deference mild.
Three things you want from woman’s open heart
Before she proves her worth as strong and chaste
A gentle mother, next a shameless tart,
Then wifely helpmeet that will know her place.
There is no time for you to still decide,
Your passion fades and her sweet soul has died.

[amner]

Bravo!

[Colyngbourne]

Wow! :D

[John Self]

This is quite brilliant, kumquat. Particularly impressive to have portrayed Wavid so accurately after only meeting him once.

What? Oh.

[Stewart]

Three things you want from woman’s open heart
Before she proves her worth as strong and chaste
A gentle mother, next a shameless tart,
Then wifely helpmeet that will know her place.

I like this. Excellent :)

[NottyImp]

Nicely done, so much more elegant than the old homily from which it is surely drawn.

[Colyngbourne]

..... or I may be wrong :roll:

I put this very clumsily/poorly earlier - I think I was referring to the way in which this kind of fantasising is ultimately unsatisfying and unprofitable. That men can utterly ruin their passion for women with it. That's what makes it such a good poem.

Sorry to be so naff about it

[Jerkass]

I'll take (b)

[Jerkass]

brilliantly done, by the way, kumquat

[RC]

Hey! gents! Where's your spirit?

That's the trouble with the modern male, you're all so whipped you take this kind of criticism as a given, you shuffle your flat feet and beg forgiveness.

Gird yer loins! Rise to the challenge! Fourteen lines, you can do it, I know you can.

[RC]

And yes, kumquat, it is excellent.

[youjustmightlikeit]

I don't take it as criticism. It does lay bear one woman's experience though.

And yes, well done kumquat.

[kumquat]

:D thanks all. i feel two inches taller.

[rick green]

This is quite brilliant, kumquat. Particularly impressive to have portrayed Wavid so accurately after only meeting him once.

LOL! :lol:

Oh you bad, John, you bad!

[rick green]

Yeah, kumquat! This rocks!

[HP]

Fabulous stuff, kumquat! More!

[kumquat]

Gosh, thanks guys. Will post another sonnet soon but may be away from Palimp for a few days as I'm off to Vienna on Monday and I'm away using someone else's computer this weekend. The other sonnet I would post has a picture attached (ekphrasis when i'm feeling vain!) and a weak last line that I need to rethink. Watch this space!

[rick green]

Have a fun trip kumquat!

[kumquat]

thanks! i should be able to check in to palimp while i'm away somewhere...